Learning to create boundaries…


As a parent, we always want what’s best for our children. Regardless of how good, reckless or indifferent they are, we long to see them all prosper, do well and have the best. 

A couple weeks ago when my daughter returned home (leaving her relationship), I was happy, somewhat relieved and hope that it was for good.

But we can have all the hopes and goals for someone, they must want it for themselves in order to achieve it. 

As I watched her for a couple weeks, I was turmoiled, (and I know she’s dealing with a lot mentally, emotionally and physically) I saw patterns and behaviors that wasn’t healthy and needed addressing. As I procrastinated (because somehow in my mind if I faced her behavior, I didn’t want to pressure and send her back to the dysfunctional relationship) but, it was creating tension in the rest of the household.

I prayed, I worried, I prayed, I procrastinated, I prayed some more. Then after waiting for God to speak in the appropriate moment, my husband and I had the crucial conversation. It bought such peace to me. 

Yes, sadly she decided to return to the broken relationship. Not sure what did it whether it was our rules and expectations, the starting over, the hardship, who knows… 

Although we loved her unconditionally and it breaks our hearts, we couldn’t allow her patterns to bring such upheaval to our home. We are here to help as much as we can but also where its healthy. 

What God was showing me in all this…. 

1. I cannot fix the things He can: if I have truly surrendered her to him, no matter how long it takes and how much it hurt, I have to let him do the work with and within her and remove myself completely.

2. I need to face, handle and deal wit things head on: don’t fester on things that hinder me, things that disrupt my healthy head space, even if it’s putting the things and people I love dearly, in check.

3. Don’t procrastinate: don’t wait to do what’s right, don’t wait when I get the promptings and procrastinate out of fear. God will always have my back, move in faith. Peace follows. 

4. I need boundaries: for me to walk healthy in mind, body and soul I need to create boundaries in my life in general. Knowing when to say yes and no is essential to me staying focus on His will for my life. Boundaries are important to my well being. 

5. Stay United: stay in unity especially with my spouse, if we are to run this race and run it well and move forward, we must be one. A house divided cannot Stand. 

So, she will be returning and it breaks my heart. But, I will be praying, and waiting on the Lord to grab hold of her heart, to draw her to Him, to hold her in His everlasting arms and show her that only His Love is unconditional and that He is all she needs. 

“Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths”.

Published by Silent Minds

Hi, My name is Dawn and I live in NJ. Silent Minds is a blogging page on books, spiritual reflections, bible study and devotions. I created this Blog because I love reading and sharing things that I feel that are important as I read, as well as thoughts and insights that speak to my heart. Most of the books I read are christian/biblical based or topics that I find interesting and relevant to life. welcome and Hope you enjoy!

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