So I took a walk this morning just for some quiet time with God and as I opened up my devotion it was titled “My Own Needs”, “Facing our lack of freedom”. As I sit looking over the lake, I find it’s so funny how in the midst of what we’re going through God always speaks to us through something or someone. Just yesterday I was telling a friend “I wish I can escape with everything that’s going on in the world”.
My daughter recently moved back home with a baby. My house already has three teenagers that will be doing school remotely, my husband’s office is shutting down permanently because of Covid,everybody is at home, full house.!!
Where do I escape… in the midst of every need around me it became my concern to fix everyone or take care of everyone else’s needs while neglecting my own needs. I’m so good at putting my feelings in a box or on hold to cater to everyone.
“Is this going to be the time when you give me insight into the chains that bind me and the courage to throw them off”. Nouwen.
The devotion stated: “it is easy to be so involved with the needs and concerns of others that we have no time or resources to face our own needs. In fact helping others can sometimes be a way of avoiding having to face the struggles within, these are strong words. But they are appropriate. For we are less free than we are prepared to admit. We are often still bound by false values of our upbringing: by the hurts and rejections experienced in our past; by our own compulsions and false guilt; by the unrealistic expectation of others or ourselves, and by the unresolved issues in our lives or in our relationships.
That was on point…. God still speaks!!
My Reflection: John ch. 8:32 says, then I will know the truth and the truth shall set me free. And I thought What is that truth and how does it apply to me? Is it the truth about myself? The truth about my family? The truth about external factors that surround me? The truth that I am not actually free and what that looks like for me? What holds me bound and the truth to face it? Do I need time and space to process? Do I need time to pull myself away from my current situation to reflect and go to God in prayer? To have the courage to take on all the things set before me. Do I need to re-adjust myself to fully embrace the truth of God, the truth in his word, the truth that He has set me free, that freedom is fully living in Christ, spending time with Him, so that He can direct my path, so that He can show me the way. God can be that escape, He can be that reservoir that river of life when I feel so drained.
What truth do I need to embrace today? The truth in His word and the truth around me.
I need courage to get in the game to stand boldly and fight, peace for the outcome-whatever that looks like, and the armor of God to stand firm against every power and principality that seems to be rising up against me.
Standing on the promises of God…